Remember last November when I threatened to stage an independent production of Our Town?

You thought I was kidding? So did I.

Apparently, I wasn’t kidding.

Here’s the update.
Matt Slaybaugh will produce. Ian Short will direct.

You can read all about it at the Our Town website.

But perhaps you want to do more than read about it.

Perhaps you want to act in the show?
Then you shall act! Auditions will be held in mid-March. Read about auditions here.

Perhaps you want to see the show?
Tally ho! You can see the show June 26-28, 2008. If you want to buy tickets today, click here.

Perhaps you want to be on the crew?
Light up the night! Let us know your area of interest, such as costumes, lighting, sets, and, oh, whatever else has to happen. You shall be led into servitude with gratitude.

But, wait, there’s more…

Perhaps you want to sponsor a performance of Our Town?
For $2,500, you (or your very impressive company) can be the presenting sponsor for an evening of Our Town.

This might seem like a lot of money, but – dude – do you have any idea how much it would cost you to produce even one performance of Our Town on your own? You do not. (I still do not.)

But enough negativity.

As part of your glorious sponsor’s package (the full extent of which is TBD), here’s just a little of what you would get for your two thou-sand fi-ive hun-der-ed dol-lars:


Here’s how it works…
At the oddly low-key beginning of the show, the Stage-Manager (portrayed by yours truly) stands around on the stage – languidly, but evoking a certain animal magnetism sans musk – waiting for the audience to be seated. Then he (I) says, per the script written by Thornton Wilder more than 70 years ago and yet still true to this very day:

"This play is called Our Town. It was written by Thornton Wilder and directed by ___________…."

OK, so I know this opening line seems to lack whack. But, trust me, I’ve read the entire play (really), and this opening line is weirdly perfect. And, I make this promise: not only did audiences approve in 1938 (amid all sorts of grand musicals on Broadway), but it will be pleasingly pure in 2008 (amid so much foolish popular culture).

I won’t tell you any more about the start of the play, lest I spoil a theatrical surprise. (But I will tell you this: there is little-to-no nudity.)

And I can tell you this!
Because Ian Short is directing the play, the script is becoming more complete. It will go something like this:

"This play is called Our Town. It was written by Thornton Wilder and directed by Ian Short…."

But back to your, er, package. Here’s what’s in it for you…

You see, The Theatre – as we lovingly call her – is really quite straightforward.
Should you sponsor an evening, I’m sure Mr. Short would allow the Stage-Manager (moi) to kiss your patron’s butt with this sort of shameless toadyism:

"This play is called Our Town. It was written by Thornton Wilder and directed by Ian Short and presented this evening through the generosity of [your name here]…."

Egad, I’ve barely memorized the first line and I’m already selling it for filthy lucre.

But if it’s filthy lucre you have, dammit, then it’s filthy lucre for which I shall sell this line. (How’s that for drama?)

And I can offer this money-back guarantee.
What if, in the end, you are too weak for the theatre? If you suffer buyer’s remorse, you callow fellow, I shall refund your money – every last cent – once you say my name in front of an audience of the same (or larger) size.

And, of course, all net proceeds will be donated to charity.

That’s only fair. The Theatre, she is also fair!

Operators are standing by. Here.