I’ve been thinking a lot about pants.

I just saw a young woman shivering in the grocery store. It’s pretty cold in there, presumably because the food must be kept fresh.

But she was shivering and seemed to not understand why. (She wore a face that said, "Why am I so cold inside this store.") I could have told her why: Her pants were falling down.

But I did not tell her why. Because, if I had told her why, I would have been judged:

  1. A fashion idiot. Pants are supposed to be falling down. Everyone knows that.
  2. A criminal. A jury of my peers would send me to the Big House for such harassment.

Please pull up your pants.
At the risk of encroaching on your right to sag, I invite you to keep your drawers up around your waist.

I know, I know: it’s cool to have your pants falling down. But it’s also stupid. If you have to keep pulling up your pants, you might pause to wonder, "Is there something more important on which I might concentrate?"

May I introduce you to the belt? It’s the greatest invention since the belt loop.

Cool is cool. Cool and stupid is, really, just stupid.

Perhaps, it’s all in how you put them on.
Check out this video. Ryan tells me that it was made by a company that does not even work for Levi Strauss.

They just made the video — and now it’s been enjoyed nearly 3.5 million times on YouTube.

Wish I’d thought to make this: