5085medI love the Ohio State Fair, as you know.

In my comments yesterday at the Columbus Metropolitan Club, I said, "I love the Fair. Go ahead: call my bluff. I will go to the Fair with you."

Since that agricultural cry for help, I have received two (2) messages from CMC members saying, "O.K., let’s go to the Fair." There are, no doubt, others who might be interested in a guided tour of the Fair.

So, here’s the plan and, yes, you are invited, too.
Let’s meet for a stroll through the Ohio State Fair on Tuesday, August 5th at 10 a.m.

Here are just some of the benefits you can expect:

  1. You get to pay for your own parking, admission, food, and sundries. Expect to part with $30 or more.
  2. You will enjoy Ohio’s most viewed fine art show. Really. The annual juried fine arts at the Ohio State Fair draws more viewers than any other. It’s great art. And it’s air-conditioned.
  3. You will be glad for your genetics. Everyone, on leaving the Fair, is grateful for their own fine breeding.
  4. We will worship the ribbon-winning baked goods (especially the decorated cakes) and admire the quilts. There is a baked pie contest that morning. Prepare yourself. We will do that before lunch to whet our appetites. Then we will eat like pigs.
  5. Our feeding frenzy will include fresh ice cream at the Dairy Barn, featuring the butter cow and this year’s Butter Mt. Rushmore.
  6. We will tour the agricultural barns, especially the pen of cute piglets and the extraordinary display of garish chickens. (Many have plumage that look like the wallpaper in a French bordello. Or so I wish I knew.)
  7. We will avoid the Midway. (Sneak away from me for that, if you must.) I say you don’t need no stinkin’ Midway. Your need for rides will be satisfied by the SkyGlider, the Giant Slide and the Carousel.

…and much, much more.

Civic-Minded Intellectuals Will Gather
I will be at the giant cardinal statue — our state bird — inside the Cardinal Gate. This gate is on the north end of the Fairgrounds. Exit I-71 at 17th Avenue. Obey the troopers. Here are maps.

Let me know whether you are coming, so we can trade cell phone numbers beforehand.

Bring sunscreen and a water bottle; wear comfortable walking shoes (you will walk in poop) and your most casual clothes. Rain or shine.

I will provide Purell.