Bucket-of-water-thumb4024728 We each carry a Bucket of Anger.

That's not so bad, really. It's just the way life is. Sure, it would be nice to not have a Bucket of Anger, but we each have one.

What's important is how full it is.
An Empty Bucket would be great. More on that, later.

It's the Full Bucket that's a problem. Because, when one little thing falls into it — even just a few drops of fresh anger — there is nowhere for that anger to go.

Something has to spill out. Anger spills out.

A Real-Life Example:

You are driving and some bozo cuts you off.

Arrghh. You become immediately angry.

And it is your sudden mission to chase him down and kill him.

Or, at least, to teach him a lesson.

Is that mature? No. Is it the reaction of a fully-formed adult? Nope. Could you find a better reaction? Yeah, probably — sure.

But there isn't time.

Because that new water has to flow somewhere. Right away. It spills out — all over your life.

Drain That Bucket — At Least Half Way.
Now, imagine the same bucket, but only half-full. Or half-empty. Or half-whatever.

When some new anger drops into the bucket, it has somewhere to go. Where it can be held. So you can drink it in. Or it can evaporate. Later.

A New, Improved Real-Life Example:

Now you are driving and some bozo cuts you off. (He's still a bozo.)

You have a moment to consider what just happened. You can think about it. And in the time you are thinking about it, you don't jump right to anger.

You think something like, "Huh. What a bozo. He's a bad driver. I hope he arrives at his destination safely. And if he doesn't, I hope he doesn't hurt anyone else."

And you drive normally, giving him proper ACDA (assured clear distance ahead), just as if he didn't cut you off.

Sounds better. Healthier. More grown-up.

How Do I Do It?
It's just about always a good time to reduce the level of the angry water in the bucket.

But how?

Process your anger. Look at your Full Bucket. Think about the beliefs that have made you angry. Like:

"I believe that motorists who cut me off must learn a lesson. Immediately. From me."

That is clearly a dysfunctional belief. It must be destroyed.

It can be assessed, destroyed, and replaced as you do the hard work of becoming more authentic.

Want To Read More On Anger?
Sure. Sounds like fun.

It is. Here's my favorite book on anger.