0808-0801-1115-3532 A friend describes his wife. (He gave me permission to tell this tale.)

Let's call his wife "Louise." If we did that socially, it would be a faux pas, because that's not her real name.

And I hereby apologize to all men and women named "Louise."

Enough ethical tap-dancing. Back to the story: He loves his wife.

But She Does Something
That Somewhat Irks Him.
It's not a full irking. It's partial. Part irk, park endearment.

Here it is: She sometimes leaves things half finished.

Example: a Coke can, half full (or, if we were optimists, half empty, because less Coke in our lives is better).

Not a big deal, we all agree — even the husband — but, hey, why the half-a-Coke sitting around the house?

Louise answers, "Oh, I left that there on my way to thus-and-so." She's a busy person, so there's a lot of thus-and-so.

But why leave something unfinished?

Who knows?

But the husband — risking his very marriage — has taken to calling her "Half-Way Louise." (But he uses her real name. Take it from me: if you ever call your wife "Louise," and that's not her name — you are in Big Trouble, mister.)

Half-Way Louise.
Are you ever Half-Way Louise?

I know that I laugh when I leave something unfinished.

I think, "C'mon, Half-Way Artie. Be done with it."