Do you go to the bookstore and treat the clerk — who happens to have a graduate degree in literature — like a bit player in your own made-for-TV-movie?
As part of your solipsistic orientation, do you seek to find fault in others?
Allow me to offer this breach of confidentiality, as I share my new employer's job description for my new summer job.
Welcome To Katzinger's.
My Name Is 'Artie.'
I'll be your runner today.
So that you can hold me accountable, because your happiness is the goal of the delicatessen — and, indeed, the goal of all humanity, the moon and the stars —
here is my job description.
Feel free to let me know when there is a gap between my role and my performance.
If you have nothing more substantial to think or feel at the time.